Building Positive Relationships with Challenging Colleagues

Nursing can have its challenges, but unfortunately, one of them can be difficult coworkers. Nothing feels more frustrating than advocating for a patient’s needs and being met with conflict from a supervisor or colleague.

Workplaces are filled with diverse people who come from different backgrounds and viewpoints, so conflicts are bound to arise at some pointespecially in a high-pressure environment like healthcare.

Where Does Workplace Conflict Start?

Problems can arise in any work environment when it comes to engaging with colleagues who have different personalities, values, and responsibilities. Experiencing conflict at work is nothing newin fact, a 2022 survey from the Myers-Briggs Company found that 36% of workers report dealing with conflict often, very often, or all the time.

However, nursing is different. You’re working with several professionals with other responsibilities who may or may not see your perspective when it comes to a treatment plan, staffing issue, or another dispute related to a patient’s health concerns. It can feel more high-stakes regarding ethical issues or even life-or-death situations.

Other scenarios nurses can experience include:

Communication breakdowns
Disagreements in management styles
Role clashes from shared responsibilities
Resource conflicts from budget cuts and limited supplies

A coworker’s personal issues that they’re privately struggling with, such as trauma or family stressors, can also be a reason why they target you with a problem.

With all the obligations nurses have to complete under a patient’s care, it can be draining when a coworker randomly steps in and argues with you over a workplace issue you have no control over.

So, what can you do when you’re facing a conflict from a frustrating coworker?

Be Mindful of How You’re Feeling

Before reacting, check in with yourself. How are you feeling at the moment? If the issue at hand is making you angry or frustrated, cool off and take a step back before reacting immediately with your problematic coworker.

“Avoid retaliating or engaging in unprofessional behavior yourself,” says Alexandra Ottochian, MSN, RN, through LinkedIn Pulse. Remember that resolving conflicts and working effectively with colleagues is essential to being a nurse and contributing to a positive work environment.”

First, you’ll want to find healthy ways to address the situation. That starts with removing any personal feelings from the conflict and identifying your feelings and behavior with this person. It could be that this coworker reminds you of someone from your past you didn’t like, or it’s possible you might have done something to offend the other person.

If you’re having trouble connecting inward with your thoughts and feelings, ask for help from a trusted coworker, friend, or therapist.

Understand Where They’re Coming From

Discover the underlying issues to resolve a conflict between you and your colleague.

Whenever you’re faced with an angry comment or passive-aggressive behavior, know that it’s never about you but a reflection of your fellow nurse’s issues. Nurses deal with a lot on the job. Any problem could be the case for their behavior, including burnout, lack of education, or insecurity about their performance.

Yes, they might be annoying you, but dealing with the situation with compassion and empathy can save you a lot of mental energy agonizing over their unfair behavior.

Communicate Clearly with Them

Clear communication is key to resolving the problem. Approach the other person with kindness, listen attentively to what they have to say, and stay professional and calm if they become more negative or insinuate fault toward you.

When talking with them, be calm but direct in your words. Address your concerns, but remember not to assign blame to foster healthy discussion. One way to do this is to use “I” statements instead of “you” when discussing how their behavior interferes with your work.

Your goal is to foster teamwork with the other person so that you can move on from the issue and better care for your patients.

If the Issue Escalates, Seek Additional Support

There’s only so much you can do on your own. If you feel bullied or threatened by a coworker when you’ve done all you can, reach out to a supervisor to communicate a colleague’s actions. You shouldn’t feel additional stress from your colleagues who are supposed to support you, not tear you down.

When contacting human resources or your supervisor, provide examples of how this person has impacted you at your job or disrupted workflow. They may offer ideal solutions for your unique situation or meet privately with the difficult colleague to stop the conflict.

Whatever happens, know you’re not alone! Other nurses dealt with your exact situation, or at least something similar. Consider asking for help from a seasoned nurse who can guide you in reducing workplace conflict and tension.

Even if you walk away hurt or still angry, responding to your coworker with confidence and assurance is something to be proud of and will help you grow in your career as a nurse leader.